Overcome fear of commitment and get the real benefit of relationships

Fear of commitment is like a cruel negative voice inside your head. It's constantly whispering to you about your choices. It might be about your relationship choices. Or it might even be about something as trivial as deciding which restaurant to go to. This fear is the bugbear of decision making in general. Why? Because it constantly ambushes you with a 'what if?'

Anxiety about the future and the 'what if?' question

Now at first sight the 'what if?' question looks useful. You are considering your options. 'Shall I get into a long term relationship with this person?', for example. That's a very big question, which will have a major impact on your life. It is only sensible to think through the implications of your choice. 'What if it doesn't work out?' 'What if I meet someone else?' But we're talking of a much more serious risk.

How you can get trapped by your worries about what will happen

You see, undue anxiety about how things will turn out actually locks you into an unending series of 'what if?' dilemmas. Whatever decisions you make in life, trivial or serious, there are alwaysconsequences you cannot possibly foresee, no matter how carefully you examine your options. You want to be sure, before you make your decision, that it is the right one. That's understandable, of course, but actually, it's simply impossible.

Overcoming fear and making good decisions

What is possible is to make the best decision that you can, having informed yourself as well as you can about the implications. When you are clear about the outcome you prefer, and what it will take to make that outcome more likely, you can go ahead and get on with your chosen course of action.

So making good decisions is really about being able to relax with uncertainty, with not being in control of absolutely everything. And overcoming fear of pledging yourself to a relationship, conquering that fear of commitment - or indeed any other major decision - will actually free you up to really make the most of the opportunities that life presents.

To your relation Bliss,

#Mark Tyrell (my senior relationship coach expert) shares #Mikolinton cares

Commitmentphobes - please read!

It's a strange thing MICHAEL, as you may have noticed, that sometimes we most fear what we most need - in case it doesn't work out.

The irony is that fear of commitment may mask a desperate desire for the intimacy and security that comes from a healthy long-term relationship.

It may be that, deep down, the person fears being rejected themselves or feels that the consequences of a future relationship breakdown will be all the worse the more time they invest in that relationship.

Maybe they have experienced feeling trapped in a relationship before or perhaps they have a history of painful breakups, of hurting and being hurt. Or they may have witnessed the rocky relationships of parents and have the 'blueprint' that 'no relationship ever works out'.

The next few blogs will dig into fear of commitment and what can be done about it.

To your relationship bliss,

#Mark Tyrell (my senior relationship coach expert) shares #Mikolinton cares