Compare - Unconditional love and spiritual love devoid of expectations

Ordinarily when one loves anyone there is some form of expectation attached and it is conditional. However spiritual love (Prīti) is unconditional, no matter what the circumstances are. This form of love is Divine and only develops after a considerable amount of spiritual practice when one perceives God in everyone. So also, we become happier individuals when our love is not adulterated or diluted by expectations.



The above diagram shows how worldly love i.e. love with expectation is based on the similarities with another person’s nature. But there is no guarantee that all aspects of our nature will be similar or complement the other person’s nature. The strife and trouble begins once we discover the difference.



On the other hand, spiritual love is based on the unchanging Soul. This is akin to how a string links the beads on a necklace whatever the shape, colour or size – the external nature is not important. The hole in each bead represents our Soul, which is the same for all of us i.e. the God in one is not in any way different from the God within another.


Courtesy: Spiritual Science Research foundation


Do you believe in the report from this research?

Love & Spirituality: How to Tell If You're Spiritually Connected

So, you’ve been dating for a while now. Things have been going great. You’ve laughed together. You’ve had some lengthy conversations. You have plenty in common. You’re both very attracted to each other. You think the world of each other.

And yet— something isn’t clicking. You just can’t put your finger on what’s wrong. On paper it’s a match made in heaven. Still, something is just not right.

What you may be missing is spiritual connection.

What Is Spiritual Connection?

Everyone has a “perfect match” checklist, just like the kind they ask you to fill out for a dating service. In theory, the more of each other’s boxes you can tick off, the more well suited you are for each other. But what works in theory doesn’t always work when put into practice.

It goes deeper than your surface needs or earthly desires. A spiritual connection is when your souls are attracted to each other and are in sync.

A spiritual connection can happen with more of those boxes ticked off, but it’s never a guarantee. It goes deeper than your surface needs or earthly desires. A spiritual connection is when you’re souls are attracted to each other and are in sync.

Two people who have a spiritual connection are not just properly aligned, like puzzle pieces that fit together side by side; they bond.
That’s why love is often called chemistry— when you combine certain elements, they combine together to create a new unified whole.

Signs of Spiritual Connection

Spiritual connections are usually perceived on a much deeper level. Once sparked, you feel closer to the person in question, the way you feel about your family and other permanent people in your life. It can be almost like you’ve known them forever on some level (and maybe you have).

Once spiritually connected, you can get really comfortable with each other. You probably notice you have different sides to your personality— you have the side you show your close family/friends and the side you put on in public at large. When a spiritual connection is sparked, you are able to drop that public persona and let the other person get to know the real you.

When you spiritually connect with someone, it usually goes beyond sharing interests, hobbies, religion, political ideologies, education or things like that. When you connect spiritually, you realize you share deeper things— values, principles, a way of looking at the world or a particular point of view.

What a Spiritual Connection Means in a Relationship

You can’t really know when or if you’ll ever spiritually connect to someone. You can never really tell if that “chemical reaction” is going to take place and you can’t know how long it will take. You can only try to get to know each other and give each other a chance.

The relationship doesn’t have to be perfect— and you can still lack compatibility, even if you don’t lack mutual passion. Just because you’re spiritually connected doesn’t automatically mean a happily ever after, and sometime a break up, though hard, is the best thing for both of you. This can sometimes be dangerous— it’s harder to walk away from a bad relationship when that connection is there, even if it’s necessary.

If and when you do spiritually connect with someone with whom you are also very compatible, the relationship is taken to a whole new level. It’s that spiritual connection that can really drive the passion. When you connect mind, body and soul, you have all the ingredients for success.

The 7 Spiritual Laws of Love

Within every love story hides the wooing of the gods and goddesses. This is one area of life where the practical meets the mythical. For many people the experience of romantic love is their first experience of spirituality, although they may not know it.

The First Stage of Love: Attraction

The Law of Attraction states, “To be attractive, you have to be authentic.” What makes a person attractive? The wisdom traditions tell us that attraction first and foremost comes from naturalness. Nothing is more beautiful than naturalness.

The Second Stage of Love: Infatuation

This law states that infatuation exists to open the door to a deeper, transcendent reality. Infatuation happens when the attraction between two people is so intense that it transports them beyond ordinary perception and the ordinary world becomes enchanted.

The Third Stage of Love: Communion

The Law of Communion says that communion is contact of soul with soul. Communion is the sharing of spirit. Therefore, communion is the basis of trust. In this stage, lovers move into territory of the unknown, taking from each other what they did not possess alone.

The Fourth Stage of Love: Intimacy

The law of Intimacy states that in true intimacy flesh merges with flesh, and spirit with spirit. In intimacy, sexual energy and spiritual energy are recognized as one. Sexual energy is seen as the creative energy of the universe.

The Fifth Stage of Love: Surrender and Non-Attachment

The Law of Surrender says that losing yourself in another person is the best way to find your true self. Surrender is the result of relinquishing the ego’s last claims to separation. Surrender and non-attachment open the door to the miraculous, because miracles exist outside the realm of I, me, and mine.

The Sixth Stage of Love: Passion

The Law of Passion says that higher reality is experienced in the merging of the masculine and the feminine in one’s own being. Passion for life and passion in love are the same thing. This is because life, in its essence, is love.

The Seventh Stage of Love: Ecstasy

The Law of Ecstasy says that ecstasy is our original state. This is where we come from, the Garden of Eden, the state of grace to which we shall one day return. Ecstasy is the final stage of intimacy with spirit that flows through love.

Coping with Indecision: 7 Deadly Thoughts

Major decisions often are referred to as ‘reaching a crossroads in one’s life,’ which is a poor motoring analogy.

They would be better considered as life’s roundabouts — merry-go-rounds of approaching exits, panicking, flapping maps, shouting at sat-navs, and finally passing them by until the next miserable orbit.

Most of us will, at some point, find ourselves on the roundabout of indecision.

The following are unnerving thoughts about indecision, which may help your own battles with indecision.

1) Indecision is an Illusion.

Well, not so much an illusion as very badly labeled. Indecision implies that we are unable to decide. Jean-Paul Sartre decreed that ‘Man is condemned to be free.’ What he means is that no matter how much you might like to think otherwise, you are constantly, unrelentingly forced to make choices. You have a choice right now – read the next sentence, or leave it. Are you still with me? Whichever way, you had to make that choice. Even when you are not making a decision, you are deciding not to decide.

2) Decisions Don’t Save Us from Decisions.

When we are making a tough decision, we often think ‘I hope I don’t look back and regret this.’ This very thought is an attempt to deny our freedom from ourselves, as if, should events turn out poorly, our future self couldn’t subsequently make further decisions to improve the situation. It is often more comforting for us to think that if we could just get this one, single decision right, we won’t have to make any more. Sorry, I refer you back to Sartre’s point – you’re condemned to always have to make them.

3) Don’t be an Ass.

A hungry ass walks into a barn. In the barn are two equally large and inviting bales of straw. They are both equally visible and accessible. The ass dies of starvation.

As jokes go, it’s dreadful. The ass, known as Buridan’s ass, was conceived in response to the French philosopher’s thoughts on decision-making.

One of the pragmatic implications of Buridan’s ass is that when you find yourself caught between equally attractive positions, the worst course of action is to do neither.

4) Don’t Get Squish like Grape.

Perhaps my favorite quote on decision-making comes fromThe Karate Kid‘s Mr. Miyagi:

‘Walk on road, hm? Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk middle, sooner or later… you get squish just like grape.’

Mr. Miyagi’s point is that if you are going to make a decision, then make it 100 percent. An attractive prospect, sometimes one we’re unaware of, is to take action, but only halfheartedly. You might decide to take the plunge and start a new business venture, but while away precious and potentially profitable hours looking for other work just in case it doesn’t work out. It’s almost guaranteed in this situation you will get squish like grape.

5) Your Brain Lies to You.

Much of the theory here I’m going to let you look into yourself; have a peep at Dan Gilbert’s talks on TED or read his excellent Stumbling upon Happiness.

Gilbert’s overriding point is that what you think will ruin your life, be it illness, disability, being single, not having children, probably won’t. Conversely, what you think will make you happy, probably won’t. Our ability to predict how we’ll feel in the future is typically skewed in favor of survival. Consequently, it’s actually very unhelpful in situations where we have two equally ‘survivable’ options. Whether you are happy or sad given this or that turn of events in your life will largely be decided by your future self, not by your present self.

6) You’ll Regret Inaction More than Action.

Regret is a funny ol’ thought that doesn’t make a lot of sense in itself. Many writers, including the likes of Kafka, have commented on how easy it is to regret inaction over action. We are much more prone to thinking ‘I wish I’d done such and such’ than we are to thinking ‘I wish I’d not done such and such.’

Much of this comes down to the previous thought. If we leave it to our brains to ‘guess’ how we would have felt had we gone down another route in life, we’ll most likely get wildly inaccurate data. By trying all avenues we can rely on our experiences to describe these various scenarios.

7) Indecision isn’t a Talisman against Death.

A common thought I’ve met in the counseling room is that once we have made a decision then we will be left on a collision course with death. Our fear of death has an immeasurable effect on us and we can fool ourselves into thinking that we can postpone or outwit it in all sorts of different ways, this thought being one of them.

The theory here is that if I never chose a direction in life, I won’t be ultimately led to my death. If I become a lawyer, I’ll probably have to do that till I die; if I become a storekeeper it’ll be much the same – however, if I choose neither, maybe I’ll dodge the reaper. As if not choosing a direction in life leaves us somehow unidentifiable, unreal and, just maybe, immortal. I’ll leave your rational minds to weigh up the logic here.

Final Thoughts

Indecision most likely is a ploy you are using for some other purpose: be it to deny your own freedom, your own death, perhaps an attempt to get a 2-for-1 deal on life or just as a means to stay comfortable at the expense of your happiness. There are all manner of tools to help you drag out decisions; the reality is that if two bales of hay appear equally attractive, remember that either one is better than starvation. Take a chance, roll a dice, phone a friend. Just get off the roundabout.

HELP SAVE SARAH (URGENT!!!)

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 8 months, and he always tells me how lucky he is to be with me, and how much he loves me... I can honestly say I feel the same way about him, at least I think I can. 

A couple months ago my counselor had me do a screening test and confirmed that I have moderate ADD, and I also have dealt with high anxiety since May 2012. I do love my boyfriend. I've decided that for myself. But sometimes there are days when I really doubt if I can see us being together in the long run. 

I'm currently in school and his job takes him away for a couple months at a time, with generally about a month and a half in between. He thinks he has ADD, and I definitely see it in him, he consistently double books himself, he is reckless and often spends his money and acts without thinking. There are other things that make me believe him but this is about me, not him. 

Some times when I let my mind wander too much I start to doubt our relationship. Or if I am able to handle being in a relationship when he's so far away much of the time, that if we end up living together (which we have kind of talked about, but nothing set in stone) his spending habits will get the best of me. 

I am in the process of seeking medication for my ADD/anxiety and he is starting to figure out a budgeting plan for himself and it really seems like he wants to "grow up" which is also something that was a check off the list for him to do, in my eyes. We're both going through this transitional period, and now that school is over for the Christmas break it's giving me some time to de-stress and really think about what I want. 

I want to be with him so badly and he makes me very happy. We're always happy with each others company, he makes me laugh, keeps me calm when I would be freaking out otherwise. Uggh I just don't know what to do, it's like whenever I get stressed out the easiest thing for me to worry about is my relationship. It's gotten to the point where I'm not sure if my thoughts belong to me or my anxiety. 

Not really sure where I was going with this, but could anyone else relate to me or give me some advice? 

Anything would be much appreciated.

Your contribution is soooo neeeded.

Do post a comment. Thank you.

How to Deal With a Weak and Indecisive Boyfriend

Having a partner can be a wonderful thing but, sometimes we do not always pick the right individuals that will make us happy for the rest of our lives. However there are people out here that make themselves more than they really are so, what do you do when you have to deal with a weak and indecisive boyfriend.


1) Try to understand why he's being indecisive. Does he really have no preferences? Is he trying to be "nice" to a point where it's destructive? Has he given up on the relationship? Is he terrified of conflict?


2) If he simply is so laid back that he doesn't have preferences, ask him to pick something. Explain to him that it upsets you that you have to make decisions all the time. Try to keep your complaint/explanation to a sentence so he doesn't shut down.


3) He may be trying so hard to make you happy that he's putting his wants aside. This is a sweet gesture, but gets frustrating over time! It's annoying to be the one choosing all the time. Tell him that you appreciate how sweet he's being, but let him know that you really like when he makes decisions.


4) If he's just shut down to the relationship it's time to go. Don't wait around for him to "get better" or "grow up" etc. Just leave. He may beg you to come back, but go find someone who treats you RIGHT. Forget him. Maybe he'll learn - and good if he does. Then maybe he'll be better to the next girl he dates.


5) If you're "stuck" in the relationship for whatever reason, try to distance yourself from it. Don't fight endlessly over it. Fighting isn't going to make it any better - especially if he's terrified of conflict. Just tell him you're frustrated. Do things with other people - or just get out more without him.

6) Manage the household. If you are living together and he does not do his duties as the head of the household then budget your money. Doing this will have everything paid off so, there will not be financial worries down the line such as being evicted from an apartment or having a car repo.


7) When it comes to times that he has promised you something but, did not pull it through, then dump him. For example, if he does not propose to you like he said he would when you decided that you have dated long enough and you had to be the one to buy the ring or, it's Valentine's day and he has never bought you dinner or taken you out but, you were the one that had to do all of that. Leaving high and dry is the best way to end a useless relationship when all else fails.


8) If he asks for another chance, and you're willing to go through all that drama that will come, then explain to him clearly and specifically what you want from him. Give him general concepts but then give SPECIFIC examples because his definition of being financially responsible may be completely different from yours. If he decides to revert to his old ways when given that second chance then leave.