OFFICIAL: Real Madrid sign Lucas Silva

Real Madrid have confirmed the signing of Brazilian starlet Lucas Silva from Cruzeiro.

The midfielder has signed a five-and-a-half-year contract with the European champions, who have been linked with the South American for a while.

The 21-year-old - who had been linked with a host of clubs over the past few months and is reported to have snubbed Arsenal to link up with Carlo Ancelotti's men - has featured for Brazil's Under-20 and Under-21 levels

A statement released on Friday said: "Real Madrid and Cruzeiro have reached an agreement for the transfer of the player Lucas Silva, who has signed for the club until June 30, 2020.

"The player will be presented on Monday, January 26, at 13:00CET at the Santiago Bernabeu, after undergoing a medical examination.

"Later, Lucas Silva will go out on to the turf of the Bernabeu with the shirt of Real Madrid and meet the media in the press room."

‘Manchester United are interested in Marquinhos’

Paris Saint-Germain centre-back Marquinhos is the subject of transfer interest from Manchester United, the player's agent Giuliano Bertolucci has confirmed.

The 20-year-old defender has struggled for playing time behind Thiago Silva and David Luiz at the Parc des Princes this season and has even been used as a right-back at times by head coach Laurent Blanc. 

His current situation has resulted in speculation he could leave the club and move to Old Trafford, with the Premier League side in need of defensive reinforcements, an eventuality his representative has refused to rule out.

“A number of clubs are asking about him; Manchester United are amongst them,” Bertolucci confirmed to Le Parisien.

“He respects the decisions of his coach but he simply wants to play more and spend less time with the substitutes.

“He’s ready to play right-back or defensive midfield if he must. He’s already done it with Roma and even Brazil.

“He will become the best defender in the world. He’s just as good as Thiago Silva and David Luiz.”

Marquinhos has made over 50 first-team appearances for PSG since making a move worth an estimated €31.4 million from Roma in the summer of 2013.

PSG are not ready to allow the youngster to depart, with their asking price reportedly set at a world-record €150m.

GLORIOUS MUSE BY Babayomi Muyiwa Adeola ( Grace)

Glorious Muse

Echoes Of Grace

Few meters away 

From the last clock tick 

Few seconds away 

From the distant Salem


My ear sees 

The approaching sound 

My eye hears 

The orchestra of Glory divine


Undaunted Love 

Soon to be revealed 

Only the acquitted guilty

 Knows His warmth


Between two thieves

We saw him call, come.

But with greater glory in the cloud 

We shall hear him proclaim, 

Come up!!!


some months ago, I dared not write this poem. For my destination wasn't clear. My poem in those days were filled with;

Untold Tears 

concealed Fears


I only knew heaven could contain the holiest of saints but I was not told of a heaven that was filled with;

A woman caught in an act of adultery, declared acquitted.

A hanging thief who with few breaths left, believed..and then Forever alive in apparel of Glory and Righteousness. 

A murderer, Saul, who became a convener of the Glorious gospel 

A coward, peter, who denied His master three times before the morning Watch.

I would have gone far in the foretaste of divine glory if white was not painted grey for me.


Lots more to say, 

I only rest in His Victory. 

Seated at the foot of the cross; 

To all passers-by, I will share the Calvary Story. 

This is my Greatest Gain, amidst all earthly Loss.

Boko Haram gunmen kill 15 in Kambari, Maiduguri

BOKO Haram gunmen killed 15 people including a village leader near Maiduguri, the heartland of the Islamist group blamed for thousands of deaths in its six-year insurgency, security sources and residents said Saturday.

"The terrorists attacked Kambari village which is less than five kilometres to Maiduguri around 5:00 am. They killed 15 people and set the entire hamlet ablaze," the security source who requested anonymity said of the attack on Friday.

"After fruitless efforts to enter Maiduguri through Konduga without success, the terrorists took a different route and attacked Kambari," he said.

A woman from the village who simply gave her name as Kyallu said four of her children were among the dead.

"They killed four of my grown-up children when they attacked our village about the time for the morning prayers," Kyallu, who is now in Maiduguri, told AFP.

"They shot my children dead without any prompting. I had to leave the village with my grandchildren because we have lost our houses," she said.

"The insurgents also killed our village head. In fact, I counted 15 dead bodies," she said.

Maiduguri and its environs have been repeatedly attacked by the extremists who began their deadly insurgency to impose Sharia in the mainly-Muslim north in 2009.

The latest attack came as President Goodluck Jonathan was due to launch his re-election campaign for the February 14 poll in Maiduguri on Saturday. Security in the city has been beefed up ahead of the event.

Jonathan, a southern Christian, faces a tough challenge from former military ruler Mohammadu Buhari, a Muslim, who is believed to have a cult following in northern Nigeria.

Asari-Dokubo vows to retaliate attack on Jonathan’s convoy in Buhari’s home state

Founder of the defunct Niger Delta Peoples Volunteer Force, Mujaheed Asari-Dokubo, has vowed that the Niger Delta militants will avenge the Tuesday’s attack on the convoy of President Goodluck Jonathan in Katsina, Buhari’s home town.

Speaking at a press conference in Abuja, Asari-Dokubo threatened that Buhari and his people should watch out for counter attack.

He said, “There is an established pattern of pre and post-election violence in the north. In the 50s when late Awolowo was campaigning in the north, he went with helicopters and he was mocked,” he said.


“People said he was flying over the houses and peeping at their wives. That has continued and everywhere in the country, people say leave them alone. We don’t want any trouble. But I think the game has changed. The rules of the game have changed.

“For every action, there will be an opposite and equal reaction. I knew that the signing of the accord was useless and that the president subjected himself to sign such an accord… for me, it was out of place for a president and commander in chief of the armed forces of a country. But the president is a humble person. He does things that even marvel some of us and make us sometimes to be very angry.

“To be frank, I was very angry on that day they were signing it. The president has sworn to protect the lives of every Nigerian. So, why would he after taking a constitutional oath subject himself to another oath?

“So, what happened in Katsina is not a surprise. But don’t be surprised. We are putting the world on notice that they have started first. When we reply, let nobody talk because we are going to reply. We did not sign any accord with them. They did not sign. They are talking about election violence now because they know that other people will respond.



“Before, they had the monopoly of violence, so nobody cared who died. Our lives were not valuable and they had all the latitude to wreck havoc and did what they liked. But the game has changed. Be bold enough to tell them that game has changed. If they slice our throat, we are going to slice your throat. They stoned the president, you will hear from us. That’s the answer.

“My concern is what happens after the election because we know they will do what they are known to do every time. But this time, they will cry. So all Igbo people who are there, if you don’t come back home and you want to continue to be there and something happens to you, there is nobody to be blamed. If you have a child who is a youth corper and you allow him to be there, you will not hold anybody responsible.

“There is no way Goodluck will not win the election. We will win them and we know they are preparing for violence in consonance with some foreign powers. When they do that, we will respond disproportionately. We will respond. That’s what we are going to do. If you hit me with a stick, I am going to hit you with iron. I am not speaking in riddles. I am speaking in plain language. My English may not be very good. I am speaking in my own street language. We are going respond disproportionately and we are unapologetic.

“The people who are in Katsina who did not hold their children should also know that I will not hold my children. I assure you, nothing will happen anywhere if they do not initiate violence. Did we ask them to stone the President yesterday? Do you want us to fold our arms so that they will kill him?

“Let them stop the violence. When they do, we will stop. A situation where Shekau will stand and say Niger Delta we are coming for you. Goodluck I am coming for you. You are a man and I am a man. We are going to look at each other eyeball to eyeball. You can shoot and I can shot. You can kill and I can kill. You can destroy and I can destroy.

                                    

Buhari’s certificate is fake – Fani-Kayode

“The question is not for me. It is for Buhari, el-Rufai, Shekau. They are the people you have to direct this question to. Go and ask Buhari why he allowed his people to stone the president and commander-in-chief in Katsina. There must be balance of terror. One person does not have the prerogative to kill, maim and destroy,” he added

Five ways men kill a relationship without realising it

Advice for men

Women may seem like complex emotional beings; Yet they are often just looking for their core needs to be met. These are to feel safe, secure and cherished. Little girls dream of being the princess rescued by her knight in shining armour who whisks her away to his castle. Meet those needs, and you’ll experience the relationship of your dreams.

you kill it:

1. By being indecisive or uncertain.

2. By forgetting to compliment her.

3. By not focusing on her or the relationship.

4. By not making her feel looked after or protected

5. By not making time for her

Five ways women kill a relationship without realising it

Advice for women

Men primarily want to be king of their castle, to be loved unconditionally and to make their woman happy. Relationship ‘killers’ will cause your man to become stressed, frustrated or even aggressive and he will often withdraw. This destroys 

any chance of true intimacy.

You kill it:

1) By criticizing him.

2) By threatening or actually withdrawing love.

3) By not acknowledging or appreciating him.

4) By taking control.

5) By challenging him.

A BROKEN HEART Doesn't always have to mean a BROKEN BOND

It’s painful, it’s exhausting and it’s so incredibly difficult. Going through heartbreak can be absolutely miserable. You hate the person but you still love the person. And then you end up hating yourself for loving them, which eventually leads to you hating them even more for making you still love them. It’s draining, really.

But what happens when the breakup is quiet? What happens when there’s no big, dramatic event that ruins the relationship? What happens when you end things on good terms?

Sometimes there’s no hostility. In these kinds of breakups, no one fights. You don’t fight with each other or fight for each other. There’s no screaming, insulting, or drunken breakdowns in the middle of the night. There are no angry texts, letters, or not-so-cryptic tweeting of song lyrics. This breakup occurs not always mutually but with dignity on both sides. No one loses respect for the other person throughout the experience. 

The heartbroken party is not sobbing on their ex’s door at 3 in the morning begging for them back. Friends don’t get involved. People are usually shocked when they find out about the breakup because they were under the safe assumption that nothing was ever wrong. And that’s the thing; there wasn’t anything that really went wrong.

In this kind of breakup, there are hurt feelings but they are completely overshadowed by the love that you once had for each other. There is pain but it is outweighed by all of the wonderful memories that you have together.

In a good-term breakup, things just end without the unnecessary drama. You respect each other too much to engage in any silly, immature bullshit. Don’t get me wrong: one of you may be devastated about the separation but you try to look past it because you really, really loved each other. They say that when you really love someone, you want the best for them no matter what and that’s exactly what you want for them, whether that includes being heavily involved in each other’s lives or not.

So while this may be the most heartbreaking thing that’s ever happened in your world, you put on a smile for them because you don’t want to see them hurting because you’re hurting. In this kind of breakup, you were both the bigger person and you have no reason to hate each other. This kind of breakup is so tough because the lingering feelings don’t vanish right away and they may not ever go away completely. No one did anything catastrophic for it to end. There was no cheating or cruel words said. It ended not with a bang but with a whisper.

I believe that these kinds of breakups can be the hardest to get over because the door is never closed; everything is still unresolved so there’s no way to really end your chapter forever. You didn’t just stop having feelings for each other and you didn’t stop being in love with each other. Someone just had a lot of doubt and it ended. It hurt but someone felt that it was a choice that had to be made. However, that doesn’t mean that it was easy for either of you.

You still really want each other in your lives, just for whatever reason you don’t want to be romantically involved anymore. It seems simple enough to try and keep a friendship but then there’s the seeing them with other people and watching someone else’s arms around them. Even though you have sworn to this friendship that you will be okay with whatever happens, it is so tough to watch the person you once loved fall in love with somebody else.

Breaking up on good terms is rough because you both really care about each other but you’re not together anymore. There’s this inevitable magnetic pull to each other, which includes still wondering how their family is doing, and still being concerned about their overall well- being. Everybody gets hurt in a breakup whether you’re the one breaking a heart or the person getting heartbroken. And the process of a heart breaking continues long after the breakup. Being involved in each other’s lives as friends can contribute to it.

It’s nearly impossible to look at this person platonically without thinking of all of your extremely intimate moments or secrets that you have only shared with this person. How do you look into their eyes and not see their soul like you used to? It’s like pretending that this beautiful masterpiece just didn’t exist between the two of you and now all you have is this dinky friendship that doesn’t do your connection a shred of justice. You two were so much more than that at one point. How does it go from a work of art to a pile of ash?

There still an undeniable attraction between the two of you and for that matter there’s still an indisputable amount of sexual chemistry there. It’s hard to pretend that it doesn’t exist at all. That’s what this kind of break up consists of: a lot of pretending. So is there such a thing as ending on good terms or is it just dangerous? Everyone says that breaking up in a subtle, friendly way is the best possible scenario because you still get to have that person in your life, but at same time it makes it harder to get over the person being that they are a presence that you keep around.

Right when you think you’ve totally forgotten about them, their name lights up on the screen of your phone. The name that used to make you flutter with joy is now making you feel sick to your stomach and you go back on the merry-go-round of feelings all over again.

When you’re together, talking, reminiscing about the great times that you’ve had together in the past and essentially seeing everything that you loved about them, it doesn’t help the process of moving on. These conversations help remind you of why you fell in love with them in the first place.

I truly believe that even though it’s harder to try and remain friends, it’s entirely worth it. Cutting each other out of your lives may be the easy way out but it is also a complete waste of a really powerful connection. You were in love with this person, which means you enjoyed their personality a lot. They were able to make you laugh and smile. You don’t have to throw that all away.

So while it is extremely difficult to keep each other around, I encourage you to do so. It really is the mature thing to do. You owe it to the time you spent together to salvage a friendship out of the relationship.

****I want your relationship success****

Stress in Relationships: 10 Sources and Their Antidotes

Stressful life circumstances such as not enough money to pay the bills, family members with health problems or figuring out who will do what of the too-much work of running a home clearly can create stress in relationships. At the same time, how a couple talks over these stressful problems either reduces or magnifies the tensions caused by the initial problem.Marriage arguments(link is external) are the last thing you need when you're already trying to deal with a tough situation. Stress in relationships zooms up if the way you talk with each(link is external) other raises any of the following concerns:

1. Will the relationship continue? 

Survival of relationships, like personal survival, is a paramount concern. 

What can help reduce concerns over whether your relationship will survive? Discussions about commitment can help. If the commitment to stay together forever is not there, find out your and your partner's underlying concerns. Put out on the table what would be the deal-breakers. Clarify what thoughts and fears hold either of you back from a full commitment. 

2. Does my partner like me or not?

As the song says so well, just about everyone wants R-E-S-P-E-C-T. The opposite of respect and affection is conveyed by criticism, sarcasm or judgmental voice tones.

If you are getting excessive criticism, or giving it, or if the tone of voice and words you use with each other convey "You're not ok" instead of acceptance, discuss what lies behind these negative messages. Discuss also who in each of your families of origin may have modeled derogatory behavior toward their spouse. Awareness leads to change.

Also, receiving negative messages as if they are normal and ok with you is a big mistake. As soon as you hear unfriendly or disrespectful words or tone of voice, explain that the tone is uncomfortable for you. Without feedback, your partner will keep doing more of the same.

3. Do I have equal power here?

Power balance means that both of you have a voice and that you regard the input of each of you as having equal importance. The opposite would be if one of you experiences the other as controlling.

Learn the win-win waltz for making decisions in a way that gives you equal power. These solutions will be better for both of you.

4. Do I have autonomy?

Paradoxically, people need independence as well as connection. Losing your identity is too high a price to pay for partnership.

Psychologist Andras Agyal articulated this paradox brilliantly in his 1965 book Neurosis and Treatment. Freedom to be an autonomous person is vital simultaneously with a sense of belonging. 

The “Incredible String Band” similarly expresses this paradox in the lyrics of one of their songs: “What is it that I am? And what am I a part of?” If you are feeling stressed because you are feeling too little sense of living your own life as opposed to being a partner in a relationship, figure out what activities you could be doing on your own that would be most appealing and meaningful.

5. Is this a safe place?

Behavior that makes you feel unsafe, emotionally, physically or economically, in a relationship is always out of bounds.

If you are feeling unsafe, consult a program in your area for victims of abuse.

Communication skill-glitches when couples talk together increase stress.

Skills enable basketball players to become a winning team. Insufficient skills increase stress on the team because the players then trip each other up, anger each other by not passing appropriately or shooting effectively, and can't accomplish the job of scoring points and winning, 

Couples with insufficient skills inadvertently antagonize each other by triggering the five concerns listed above. At the same time, they increase stress in their relationship by being less able to come up with good solutions to the problems they face.

6. You-Messages

A writer said: "I refer to sentences that start with the word you as “crossovers.” That’s because when someone starts a sentence with the word you, the sentence crosses over the boundary that defines the other person’s space. The crossing may be to criticize, to tell the other what to do, to guess what the other person is thinking or feeling. In all these cases, invading another person’s personal space feels threatening, and all the more so if the content is negative. 

The antidote to crossovers is I-messages and good questions. The rule is "I can talk about myself (my thoughts and feelings) or ask about my partner's. No speaking for or assuming I can guess my partner's thoughts or feelings. Instead, ask. 

7. Listening to disparage or discard data instead of listening to understand and digest it.

If you listen for what’s wrong in what you hear and immediately point that out, the person who just tried to share information with you is going to feel stressed. If your partner dismisses what you try to convey, you will feel stressed.

Learn good listening skills. Otherwise dialogue is like playing catch with someone who always drops the ball.

8. Getting emotionally worked up, particularly in anger

Getting overly-emotional, either defensive or aggressively, switches the tone from friendly to adversarial. When a relationship turns adversarial, the benefits of affection, support and the like evaporate.

Anger undermines feelings that the relationship is a safe and supportive one. Decide as a couple that if either of you begins to leave the calm zone and become angry, both of you will exit briefly into separate rooms to calm down. For details of how to use mutual exits to prevent fighting, see this post. 

9. Staying silent about concerns lest they provoke a fight.

This seemingly safe route is not so safe. 

Staying mum when something is stressful for you is likely to allow the situation to continue and to cause your stress to fester and flourish. Refraining from speaking up diminishes a sense of personal power in a relationship and invites depression.

Better to learn to raise issues in a gentle way so the two of you can talk them through productively.

10. Dominating to get your way, insisting, convincing and proving you are right. 

If you want one thing and your partner another, you’re at risk for launching a stressful battle to see who will win and who will lose.

The magic trick for reducing rising stress levels around who will get their way is to let go of advocating for your concern. Instead, explain why you want what you have suggested. Find out the concerns that are motivating your partner to want something difference. 

Once you both understand the why’s, the underlying concerns, building a win-win solution can become a fun and creative activity. I call this kind of shared problem-solving the win-win waltz.

Without collaborative decision-making, one of you is likely to wind up winning and the other losing. That’s a recipe for relationship stress.

In sum, what can you do to minimize these sources of relationship stress?

Learn skills. 

Life inevitably from time to time puts stressful challenges on the path of every couple. Can you and your life partner talk quietly together when sensitive issues come up, share your concerns, listen to genuinely understand each other’s perspectives, and create a plan of action that feels positive to you both? 

If not, no need to panic. The game's not over. You just need to learn and practice the skills that enable being in a committed partnership to be a safe and supportive addition to your life.

If your skills for talking together about sensitive issues are sufficient, stresses will become opportunities to enjoy the benefits of true partnership. Working out solutions to challenges between you, that's when being a couple brings ultimate blessings of affection and a joyfully shared life.

ACT NOW!!!

I want your relationship success